勉强没有幸福.

I’ll close my eyes,
No, I won’t see
The love you don’t feel,
When you’re holding me
Morning will come,
And I’ll do what’s right

…

“No aphrodisiac like loneliness.”  –thepsychicclam

Masks

This is why.

Someday
you’ll get bored
find new ones
custom-fit, better;

until then
let’s just pretend.

Maddening hardening.

“You do not want to let yourself be morally corrupted by hate and suffering, you want to remain good-natured, peaceful, amiable, and “nice”. But how to avoid hate and suffering if you are daily bombarded with things that cause them? You must ignore everything, look away, block your ears, seal yourself off. That leads to a hardening through softness and finally also to a form of madness: the loss of a sense of reality.”

– Sebastian Haffner

One wall..two walls..three walls…

Danny sat in the courtyard during class break and watched the people flow by. He used to have so many friends, but one by one, he’d cut them off until all they did now was nod. He could see their eyes searching sometimes, the hurt still evident but you can only get hurt so many times and then you build those walls. He knew what he’d done and he wanted all his friends back but he’d never say it….never ask it of them. Danny was a loner now. One of the outcasts. He’d done it to himself and he didn’t know how to get it back.

– Just Hit ‘Send’

But why does it still hurt even after all those walls are erected?

Always No.1

So many goodbyes lined up for the next couple weeks and BBC decided to help out with song choice – Always No.1 by Alistair Griffin.

So long, farewell, but not goodbye

I know we’ll meet again

‘cos I’ve seen in your eyes

the spark that lights the dreams of rocket men

And you still chase that light

That takes you to the place you’ll always know

Takes you home

I don’t know if I will make it

All I know is that the sun

Keeps on shining when you’re gone

So I ride the wave that takes me

To that time when we were young

And you were always number one

They say it’s too late to write your

name in lights across the sky

That you’ve had your time

But you’d risk it all for one last chance to fly

And you still chase that light

That takes you to the place you’ll always know

Takes you home

But I don’t know if I will make it

All I know is that the sun

Keeps on shining when you’re gone

So I ride the wave that takes me

To that time when we were young

And you were always number one

It’s a brand new life

It’s a glorious day

It’s a golden sun

They’ll write your name

In the fire & blood

When we’re long gone

You will always be… number one.

You will always be…number one.

~four~

“I’m not afraid of death but I am afraid of dying. Pain can be alleviated by morphine but the pain of social ostracism cannot be taken away.”  -Derek Jarman

~three~

“My purpose is to make a movie to make you warm. To give you some heat. Now, this rational world has become a place where only what is cool is good. Do you cut the movie on the basis of the beat of modernity or the basis of the beat of your own heart?”  -Emir Kusturica

I cannot compromise..

“My pictures don’t work at all unless they work my way.”  -Orson Welles